This Week - Young sex, Losing it and Getting tied up ...

Jeremy has a young problem: Hi, my name is Jeremy and I am 16. My boyfriend is 17 and we love each other. We've been thinking of anal sex but we have never done this before. How does one do it for the first time. Do I just take it out and shove it up? Is it easy to do that? Is he going to want to have me too?

James says: Hi Jeremy, well I don't think the best way of having anal sex for the first time is to take it out and shove it up!

First you have to make sure that your partner is ready to get fucked so this means preparation. He should make sure that he thoroughly washes his ass so it is nice and clean. You can then play with his ass using your tongue and finger, slowly exciting him and getting his ass to relax. You need to make sure he is used to having your finger inside him before you try your cock.

Make sure you use lots of lube (the silicon ones are good as they don't dry out as quick) and go slow. Also when you start to fuck don't just shove it in but go slowly and let him get used to it as you enter. Wait for a few seconds before going all the way in. It may be easier for your partner to sit on top of you so that he can control the depth of penetration more at the start. Don't forget to use a condom and make sure that you buy plenty of them, so have some to spare.

It may hurt a little but as long as you use lots of lube and go slowly then you will both really enjoy it! The key to all this is to go slow.

Of course you should switch around if it's the first time for each of you, you need to try out being both a top and a bottom to find out which you prefer or if you like both and are what's known as versatile.

---

Darren is losing it: James, help! I'm having a problem keeping my erection when I am with guys. I'm fine when I'm by myself, but I lose it half way through sex, so always have to bottom. I really want to try and top, but it's too embarrassing to even try, when I just know that in a couple of minutes I'll be soft. I'm 21, please help.

James replies: Hi Darren, the most important thing here is not to worry about this as often one of main causes of losing your erection is through worrying and this can lead into a spiral where you worry about not being able to stay hard and this in itself causes more problems.

You could go and see your doctor about this as they can offer help. They may suggest you try some viagra as that can really help maintain an erection and may also help you gain your confidence in staying hard.

You could also try using cock rings which can also make your cock stay harder for longer by trapping some of the blood. I do think however it is most likely the fear of losing an erection that is the cause of you losing your erection. Try to relax before, but don't drink much alcohol as that can cause you to lose it as can stress, coffee and many drugs.

---

Jez is getting tied up: Hi James. My boyfriend tells me that he really likes the idea of guys tied up naked and wants to try with me. I trust him, but am I just starting down a road that ends up with whips and chains? Should I let him do it?

James answers: Hi Jez, well you should never do anything in sex that you don't want to.

Having said that there is something to be said for spicing up your sex life and being tied up with someone you trust can be a very pleasurable and sexually exciting experience. You need to be 100% sure you trust him before you put yourself in that position, and if you are unsure of what's going to happen don't.

You should ask him what he has in mind for this so that you both understand entirely and you are happy with it. Make sure you agree on a secret word between you which really does mean STOP and UNTIE me! You must be 100% sure before you proceed with something like this.

---